shinesty

War is a terrible thing. So we feel it’s important to inform the masses of the conflict that ravages the North Pole each year as supply chains become more congested and Santa’s holiday routine becomes even more stressful for all involved. Reindeer can shoot...

Get out the ladder, because it’s time to hang up the Christmas lights. The first step of putting on these suit pants is spending an hour and a half untangling the mess you left last year. 

Go ahead, put this bumper sticker on your Bentley. The Dumper Sticker Ball Hammocks are here and they are ready to caress your sweet nethers. Give a big round of applause to our collaborating artist and inspiration: Frankie LaPenna

Every time you pull these up and/or take your pants off you are legally required* to shriek: COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO.  *okay it's not legally required, it's more of a moral obligation, a civic duty, you get it

Introducing the Early Risers rooster boxers. These Ball Hammocks® will make sure your eggs don't get gobbled up in the grundle. 

Every time you pull these up and/or take your pants off you are legally required* to shriek: COCKADOODLEDOOOOOO.  *okay it's not legally required, it's more of a moral obligation, a civic duty, you get it

It's important when considering The Eggnog Aficionado blue Christmas skater dress to realize that the eggnog drunk is not like any other drunk. It could just be all the heavy cream, but no, there's something magical to it. It's warming no matter how cold...

O say can you see the patriotism practically dripping off these boyshort undies? The broad stripes and bright stars exude the American spirit. One thing’s for sure: This pattern is definitely making MY red rocket glare.

Bring this eagle out into the wild with this pair of Ball Hammock swim trunks. Ya, there's a pair of underwear built-in to these bad boys. Just don't get pantsed while wearing them.

Picture this: you’re rafting down the river. The sun is shining just bright enough to keep you toasty, but not so hot that you’re getting a sunburn. You sigh with complete contentment until something catches your eye. You see a bald eagle swoop down...

Sexting has never been easier since emojis were invented. If you've never indulged your fantasies and sent some risqué texts, we can help. These ladies cheeky undies with subtle and sexual emojis is the perfect place to learn. Take a gander at the emoji...

Sexting has never been easier since emojis were invented. If you've never indulged your fantasies and sent some risqué texts, we can help. This ladies bralette with subtle and sexual emojis is the perfect place to learn. Take a gander at the emoji drawings...

Whether you’re going for the regal look of royalty, or simply cosplaying as the Joker in his underwear, this dark purple paradICE™ Cooling Bralette ensures you’ll stay cool when a mob of angry villagers or a masked vigilante try to bring you down.

Do you know what you find at the end of a rainbow? A big ole pot of gold. Let's just say that when you follow that colorful road, you just may find this pot of gold on the front of these St. Patrick's Day...

I watch a lot of Planet Earth, and if there is one thing my hero David Attenborough has taught me, it's that the leopard runs at roughly 42 MPH on a bad day. That said, these leopard print swim briefs won't make you run...

Ladies get the "little black dress" and now you get your big black shirt. It's tough having this nice of a black shirt because it will make any other black shirt feel subpar...but it's worth it.

Everyone has a favorite shirt, and this one is yours. It's super stupid-soft and it's form fitting around your arms but loose around the gut (this is key). This t-shirt feels like a hug from a chinchilla if a chinchilla had arms that were...

This tee is designed specifically to bring out the color in your baby blue eyes. People on the street are gonna stop you just to gaze into those hypnotic cerulean orbs. And if you have brown eyes? Well, it’s still a comfortable shirt so...

This green shirt makes your eyes pop. I obviously can't see your eyes, but that's the great thing about this: it makes ALL eye colors pop. Go ahead, give it a try and see how many people say, "Wow your eyes are POPPIN' today."...

Be careful wearing this tee while eating spaghetti because you just know red sauce is gonna splash all over it. Ugh and you just did laundry yesterday.

Life is better when you buy in bulk. That’s why Costco exists. Do I need two 6 packs of oversized almond poppyseed muffins? No. But am I going to eat two a day for the next 6 days? Probably. We had that same mentality...

Shower Thought #7 If you try to fail but end up succeeding, which did you actually do?

Shower Thought #7 If you try to fail but end up succeeding, which did you actually do?

Shower Thought #7 If you try to fail but end up succeeding, which did you actually do?

Some of us finish faster than others, but it's not a race, so that's ok. There are no winners or losers in this game, and as long as everybody plays nice, we can all have a good time. Although, there are plenty of interior...

Sometimes it pays to be the fastest finisher. Like when you're not allowed to have dessert until you finish your whole dinner. Or when you're being chased by the mall security guard for pantsing Santa in front of a bunch of kids. Or when...

Ladies, I know I'm not alone when I say that being the fastest finisher is not high on my "qualities of a perfect man" list, but I'm not trying to stay up all night either. There's got to be a happy medium in there...

As the wise Ricky Bobby once said, "If you ain't first, you're last." I live by this motto every single day. While driving in traffic, I must lead the pack. While playing shoots and ladders with my nephew, I must always get a ladder....