shinesty

This neon Christmas suit will literally highlight the holidays this year. If the movies "The Nightmare Before Christmas" and "Eyes Wide Shut" had a baby, it would come out wearing this neon lights Christmas blazer. Whether you're at your hometown dive bar, break dancing...

Introducing a Fourth of July outfit to rule all Fourth of July outfits. This mouthwatering culotte pant and crop top ensemble features... wait for it... stars and stripes. Listen Queen, you already look like a tasty treat but slip this number on and you've...

Who's ready to go yachting? I know I am. This nautical party blazer will have you feelin' like setting sail on the deep blue sea, even if you don't know anyone with a boat. You'll make it happen when you slip on this blue...

This nautical wrap dress makes me feel like a premier guest on a fancy yacht off the coast of Greece...or Italy...or San Diego. It doesn't matter whether you've got a friend with a boat or you're pretending that pontoon on the lake is a...

This men's USA themed suit jacket features red and white stripes topped with patriotic blue stars. The big knit pattern evokes the feeling that someone's grandmother knit a blanket like this back in the day, and that brings a sense of ease to my...

You can always buy a pair of men's navy suit pants from some department store that smells like weird carpet, but you wont have any money left afterward. Or at least that is my situation because I'm broke but either way navy blue suit...

Shop the Navy Nads men’s underwear pack. This blue men’s boxer 3 pack just became your newest favorite place to put your gonads. Made from ultra-soft MicroModal material, these nut huggers are 3x softer than cotton and 69x softer than any other boxer briefs...

This toddler Christmas suit just took care of your Christmas card needs. It also might land your wee lad a date wayyyyy too early. You thought buying him this kid's Christmas suit would end innocently and then BOOM he's painting the town red with...

Introducing the best socks you’ve ever had. Get your paws on this 3 pack of crew socks. These Heel Hammocks™ are absolutely loaded with features. They’re not just soft, they’re Super Stupid-Soft™. They’re like a fine wine, they get better and softer with age...

Jeans don’t get any skinnier than this Cooling Thong. And for the first time in history, we’ve made skin-tight denim that’s actually comfortable. Plus, thanks to the cooling fabric, these are the only jeans that you’ll actually want to wear on hot summer days....

The New England Patriots Overalls. The garment of the working woman. Get ready to wear a Patriots bib made of sweet cotton denim featuring five versatile pockets that can fit over six rings.

How do you compliment six rings? With this Patriots blazer. Because when you’re a perennial post-season favorite, you have to dress for business and this Patriots jacket is business-ready. It also pairs well with a hoodie so you can wear this Patriots suit jacket...

New England Patriots overalls. The garment of the working man. There’s no other piece of clothing that commensurates the work ethic, dedication, and dominance that the New England Patriots are known for. Made with sturdy, cotton denim and steel clasps, these New England Patriots...

New Orleans Saints pants. Because when the Saints come marching in, you can bet your bottom dollar they’re not wearing cargo shorts. Don these Saints slacks and establish who’ll be the Rex of tailgate season.

A man’s lawn says a lot about him. If it’s scattered with old car parts, it says he probably has a mullet. If it’s perfectly manicured, it says he probably doesn’t drink while on his riding mower. If it looks like this print, it...

There's good socks, and there's great socks. Have great socks. Like these.

There's good socks, and there's great socks. Have great socks. Like these.

This gingerbread man Christmas turtleneck dress is extremely ironic. The cute little gingerbread men are practicing karate. They are working their way up to a black belt and are so innocent and sweet. The pattern is wholesome, but the utility is far from it....

Shower Thought #9 If you put on your sock inside out then everything in the universe is wearing that sock except you.

It's just what you've been waiting for: a blanket shaped like a giant chocolate chip cookie. It's 6 feet long, so yes, it's big enough for you, sir. Who wouldn't want to be wrapped up in a delightful sweet treat late at night? This...

The Navy Nordic Christmas Suit - handcrafted in artisanal macro batches for your Christmas party pleasures. Taking only the finest ugly Christmas sweater patterns and putting them on this high-quality red and navy sweater suit. It’s sensual, it’s sophisticated, and you can’t find it...

You may think you know what a nude beach looks like, but you have no idea. I bet you expected to see a European ocean-side scene with beautifully bronzed people who have zero tan lines. Not quite. Instead, all you'll find on this pair...

Forget kissing under the mistletoe and jump straight to sticking your nuts in our mouth. This Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear With Fly salutes the most festive (but least effective) way to crack open a walnut.

This tropical wrap dress pairs extremely well with sipping on a piña colada. And if you are at an establishment that does not serve piña coladas...may I suggest that you don’t let that kind of negative energy into your life.

These tropical suit pants pair extremely well with sipping on a piña colada. And if you are at an establishment that does not serve piña coladas...may I suggest that you don’t let that kind of negative energy into your life.

This white Christmas dress is offly white and awfully perfect for this holiday season. With a skirt that hits right above the knee, a lightweight crepe material, elastic cuffed sleeves, and an adjustable wrap, this holiday dress is ready for anything. Drop into the...

This pair of Ball Hammock pouch underwear will put some hair on your chest. Not really. But if you frequently imbibe in Old Fashioned cocktails, that just might do the trick. But don't quote us on that...we know nothing about the science behind hair...

This pattern looks like something you'd find in the back of your Grandpappy's closet on an old short sleeve button up shirt. You bet your cherry red behind I'd snag the shirt from that closet and bring it back to it's former glory. Here's...

This paisley print is proof that our designers can take even the simplest, most well known designs and put a lewd spin on them. Subtle and tasteful are two words they'd use to describe these original Ball Hammocks™.