shinesty

Don’t know where you’re gonna go when that volcano blows? Don’t sweat it. That lava will come down soft and hot but you can stay cool and calm in this pair of Margaritaville® Ball Hammock® pouch underwear.

Breakfast is the most important meal of the day, so don't screw it up by eating yogurt & granola. Load up your plate with bacon & eggs and tell your cholesterol to mind it's own business.

Before you ask, the answer is yes. Competitive hot dog eating is indeed a sport that these athletic shorts are well equipped for.

You'll look sharp as hell in this polo. Give it a try. 

I've never lived in DC, I don't know shit about hockey, and Russia doesn't exactly crack my top ten list of fav countries, but hot damn do I respect the hell out of Ovechkin. That has nothing to do with this Washington Capitals onesie,...

This is what happens when you let the candles melt all over your birthday cake. This pair of Ball Hammocks pairs well with that one song by Jeremih that everyone knows. You know the one.

The monstrous orgy on this Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear definitely puts the “ween” in Halloween. But don’t worry, that’s just his step-mummy. 

The monstrous orgy on this Ball Hammock® Pouch Underwear With Fly definitely puts the “ween” in Halloween. But don’t worry, that’s just his step-mummy. 

These solid white suit shorts are perfect for anything other than jello and mud wrestling. Nuff said.

A white tiger is unique af with only one existing in every 10,000 births of Bengal tigers. They're more aggressive, more muscular and much stronger than an ordinary orange tiger. Be like a white tiger. Anything but ordinary when you wear this all white...

I'm 90% sure this is leopard print and not cheetah print, but you should definitely look at some animal photos to double check. After all, wearing a print of the fastest animal in the world might not be the message you want to brag...

I'm 90% sure this is leopard print and not cheetah print, but you should definitely look at some animal photos to double check. After all, wearing a print of the fastest animal in the world might not be the message you want to brag...

I'm 90% sure this is leopard print and not cheetah print, but you should definitely look at some animal photos to double check. After all, wearing a print of the fastest animal in the world might not be the message you want to brag...

I'm 90% sure this is leopard print and not cheetah print, but you should definitely look at some animal photos to double check. After all, wearing a print of the fastest animal in the world might not be the message you want to brag...

I'm 90% sure this is leopard print and not cheetah print, but you should definitely look at some animal photos to double check. After all, wearing a print of the fastest animal in the world might not be the message you want to brag...

I'm 90% sure this is leopard print and not cheetah print, but you should definitely look at some animal photos to double check. After all, wearing a print of the fastest animal in the world might not be the message you want to brag...

I'm 90% sure this is leopard print and not cheetah print, but you should definitely look at some animal photos to double check. After all, wearing a print of the fastest animal in the world might not be the message you want to brag...

Punxsutawney Phil can forget his shadow. Because when he sees this fresh floral design, he knows that it’s officially spring. If you think covering your bed in rose petals is romantic, try covering your entire body in them. Perfect for a derby party, a...

To see if this log print turtleneck is for you, let's play Wood You Rather, we wanna axe you some questions. First question: Wood you rather embody the swagger a lumberjack or a computer nerd? Second question: Wood you rather stay warm this winter...

If you're going to rock this black and brown wood print bow tie then it's important we talk about your morning wood. That unplanned display of enthusiasm that's made the start of every day just a little more exciting ever since you were a...

If you're going to rock this Xmas log pattern blazer then it's important we talk about your morning wood. That unplanned display of enthusiasm that's made the start of every day just a little more exciting ever since you were a pre-teen. Now, couple...

Get ready to drop your anchor with The Yachtsman nautical one piece. You're the captain when you slip into this women's bathing suit that holds you in, shows a little mid back, cuts high on the thighs, and scoops on the neck.

No matter how dead the depths of winter have you feeling inside, you'll come to life just like Frosty the Snowman when you wrap yourself in the magic of this blue snowflake dress. Wear it with a corncob pipe and a fancy top hat...

Christmas flight suits are not for cowards. They are not for the weak or the boring. A flight suit is for those with Big Zip Energy, and that's where the list of qualified recipients abruptly ends. When your massive zip is on full display, your BZE claims will never be...

The holiday season packs a year's worth of fun into just a couple of short months, but all that jolly comes at a hefty price. All the errands and parties, the obligatory office secret Santa, gifts for your in-laws, the mailman, and all the...

Snowflakes may be cold, but these pants are hotter than hot. Match them with the coordinating blazer to melt the hearts of any snowflakes that get close enough for you to catch on your tongue.

Do you part to help save the planet by going green with these paradICE™ Cooling Ball Hammock® Underwear. Does wearing green cooling underwear actually have an environmental benefit? I don’t know. Ask a scientist. Look, I'm just trying to sell some underwear here.

Do you part to help save the planet by going green with this paradICE™ Women's Cooling Thong. Does wearing green cooling underwear actually have an environmental benefit? I don’t know. Ask a scientist. Look, I'm just trying to sell some underwear here.

Shop The Zero Shades of Grey men’s pouch underwear pack. This all black men’s boxer 3 pack just became your newest favorite place to put your gonads. Made from ultra-soft MicroModal material, these nut huggers are 3x softer than cotton and 69x softer than...